Mom’s Elf-On-The-Shelf Scheme Goes Horribly (And Hilariously) Wrong

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Parents aren’t just responsible for taking care of their kids and keeping them safe. Moms and dads are also tasked with keeping the “magic” alive for their children, especially during the Christmas season.

Obviously, this involves keeping up the illusion of Santa, and, more recently, the “elf on the shelf” tradition. Some parents have a lot of fun hiding Santa’s little watchdog. Others, like this mom, frankly see it as a pain in the ass but do it anyway for their children’s benefit. Though Brittany Mease from Wylie, Texas, admittedly can’t stand the whole tradition, she dutifully hides her family’s elf every year. But this December, something went very, very wrong when she forgot where she left the doll. Read her hilarious story of how she “killed” the elf as she tells it below.

“Elfis, our elf that we’ve had for 5 years, arrived on December 1st with a broken leg and blamed it on the kids for leaving their toys out, saying he tripped and broke his leg but Doc McStuffins fixed him up and put a cast on him. The note told the kids that he was on strict bedrest orders and couldn’t move for 14 days.”

“The other day the kids noticed that it had been longer than 14 days and he hadn’t moved so when they weren’t looking I grabbed him off the kitchen counter and quickly tossed him in the oven until I could move him later and not raise any suspicion.” Then she promptly forgot about where she’d stashed him.


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Facebook / Brittany Mease

“Today the kids wanted leftover pasta for lunch and Gray likes it when I bake leftover pasta because he says it tastes better so that’s exactly what I did. I preheated the oven and started cleaning the kitchen. About 4 minutes later I started to smell something REALLY funky and that’s when all hell broke loose and I broke my son’s heart.”

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“In mid conversation with Brittany I yelled ‘FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!! THE ELF! THE FUCKING ELF IS IN THE OVEN’ Brittany rushed in to help me get him out and Gray came in the kitchen with excitement thinking our elf was back but his world fell apart as we were using kitchen utensils to get our burnt and melting elf out of the damn oven.”

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“Sooooo…. guess what I’m doing today? I’m having to scramble and find the other elf we have and then I have to call Santa (in front of the kids) and ask him if he will please pick Elfis up tonight.”

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“Ya know, since he is unable to make it to the North Pole to get fixed because his head literally popped off from being too hot once we pulled him out of the oven and his feet are completely melted off. Damn this Elf on the Shelf shit. Wish me luck. Let’s see how I get myself outta this one.”